Season of Change

My Selah Moment:

I'm in a season of transparency concerning my life's journey as a Christian, and a leader. Some days and some seasons in life are hard to go through. In my walk with God there are moments when my faith waivers and I have to encourage myself through the Word of God. And every now and then God will have someone call or text me with words of encouragement, but most days I'm on my own. I see the fruit of my life through the prayer ministry that God has assigned me to and the many answered prayers for others. But sometimes I have wondered, "what about me God?" This particular blog post is not designed for those who have it all together. Nope this is designed for those who want more of God! Those who are broken, thirsty, and hungry for His presence. That is my current situation- I'm not satisfied where I am- I want more of God.

Walking in a new season can at times be daunting as you learn to navigate new terrain both spiritually and naturally. It can throw one off balance, make you discombobulated. During seasons of shifts, and transitions I have found it necessary to stay close to God. What that means is I have to increase in prayer. Where I prayed for one hour a day I may now have to pray two or three hours a day. That also means incorporating weekly fasting, and increased time studying the Word. I have found it helpful to shroud myself in worship, and to listen to worship songs to settle my spirit. I have found that it is extremely important to really be sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit. One thing I know for sure is that when I deviate from the plans of God, things never work. But when I follow the leading of the Holy Spirit, things always work out right.

One morning as I was seeking God in prayer, He led me to read Isaiah 48:10 (KJV)- Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver, I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction. Whoa! Still on my knees I looked at the scripture again and pondered, how could God want to use me. At that moment it didn't matter to God how I felt about my self or my situation, He looked past my feelings and was pulling me out from the place from which I had fallen. No, I haven't backslid, I was tripping because things are not going as I want them to. I was having a moment or two of pouting and complaining. And in my moment...God met me there. Tears running down my face, he came to see about me. The word affliction in Hebrew is the word oni, which means depression, misery, trouble. He had come to lift me out of the furnace of affliction, the state of depression, the low state I had sunk into. And it didn't matter to God how low I had sunk, His word rang loud in my spirit that He had chosen me. He reminded me that day that what I had been through was not designed to destroy me, but to refine me for his usage and glory. He needed me to be completely devoid of my personality, to be totally abandoned of my ideas, thoughts, actions, and emotions. To be completely stripped of my identity so that I can totally reflect His image. My identity for His. No ego tripping here...when something goes through a refinery (a place for purifying a crude substance), it is broken-down, melted, or purged. Whatever it once was, it has now become something else. I have come to realize that I am in a "transformative transitional" period of my life. While it is not an easy process to change, I know at the end of the day, it will be well worth it all.

Walking in my 2 Corinthians 5:17 season- Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away; behold all things are become new.

Shalom!

Pastor T

Selah means to pause, think about it and give God praise.

A New Season

My SELAH moment: 

Whew! Being transparent about where I am right now in my walk as a Christian makes me feel very vulnerable. As a leader, I want to articulate what is really in my heart, because I believe that I can help someone else overcome similar issues. For quite a while I have been in need of a change. I haven't been happy in a long time with the status of my life, my financial situation, and I miss having a social life (still adapting to new area); honestly, I'm not always happy about where I  am concerning ministry. I have been prayerful and hopeful that change would come to my life because quite frankly it is needed...I'm in need of an over-haul, a make-over of the God-kind.

I had lost my passion. I lost passion for the job I was doing and for the company I worked for. So I resigned. I am at the point in my life that whatever I do employment wise or in ministry will be what make me happy and where my passion lies. Time out for working just to get a check. Or doing busy work in the Kingdom just to stay relevant. Concerning the relational and social issues, those things are being worked out slowly but surely, as God is connecting me with some awesome, genuine people in the Kingdom. And financially, God has gifted me with several gifts. So its time to put them to use and make them work for me. One thing I have learned is that if you put no value on your time, talents, and efforts, no one else will give value to them either. Some days, the pains of loneliness sets in, defeat over my current financial status, and just down right depressed over a life and ministry that appears as if it has stalled. And despite my feelings, I keep it moving. Life hasn't stopped, and ministry is still going on. However, there is an inner longing, a deep seeded longing that there is more. The month of September was one of the hardest months I have had in years. It was long, arduous, and I could feel the pangs of transition taking place; which left me feeling discombobulated, off-balance. I sensed God was up to something...but couldn't put my finger on it.  Near the end of the month someone reminded me that September being the ninth month was the month of labor, and that a spiritual birthing was taking place. Wow! I thought, that makes sense. One season was ending, and another was about to take place. 

One evening as I flipped through the television channels I saw that Bishop T.D. Jakes was on Oprah's Life Class. He was talking about his new book, Instincts. As he was talking, something resonated in my spirit. I was on the right track. I was not off, but moving by instinct. That gut feeling that you get, which is really the Holy Ghost driving you into the direction you should be going. We call it intuition, but its the voice of the Spirit. And let me just say, that it was a strong, loud and clear voice. I thought this season of birthing had to do with ministry, but it is really about me. Its about me shedding off the old and embracing the new. It is about me not being afraid of flying high, flying solo, or of being afraid of success. This new season is the answer to prayers that I have labored in for several months...that I want more of God and that I needed a change to take place in my life. Bishop Jakes used the analogy of a giraffe and a turtle, and how giraffes are meant to be tall. That made me realize I am too TALL to be dealing so low, with turtles. So with that said, I  raise my neck today to eat from the tops of the trees and to walk tall not only in this season but,for the rest of my life.

Nothing about me in my new season can change until I make the effort to do so. So I will be walking out 2 Corinthians 5:17- Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature; old things are passed away; behold all things are become new.

Shalom!

Pastor Tracy

SELAH means to pause, think about it and give God praise.