Prejudice: a preconceived usually unfavorable idea; an opinion held in disregard of the facts that contradict; intolerance and hatred of other races, etc.; injury or harm, as by some judgment..
Thesaurus: biased, directed against, influenced, dogmatic, opinionated, narrow minded, intolerant, racist, chauvinistic, bigoted, partial, etc.
Writing about the topic of prejuidice is probably one of the hardest things I have done. I have been fretting all day long because this is such a sensitive subject, and in talking about it leaves me vulnerable. My writing about ths subject is not to further fuel the fires of prejudice but, to hopefully help someone else find healing from the pains and atrocities of past experiences.
Today as I took my early morning walk the Holy Spirit spoke these words to me, "You are prejudice." As he spoke these words it was as if a dam broke loose and the tears streamed down my face. Being prejudice is not something I wanted to readily admit nor is it something I ever talk about with anyone. It has been one of those "dirty" little secrets I have held in my heart and as long as no one talked about it, in my heart it would have remained.
But, this morning was different. I had watched a program that talked about the Jewish nation and how we put ourselves under a curse whenever we speak any disparaging remarks about them. So as I was walking I was casually repenting for not praying continuously for Israel and for any remarks I may have made concerning anyone of Jewish descent.
My prejudice towards white people stems from my childhood memories of growing up in Virginia. Having been born in the 60's during the Civil Rights era, I remember being bussed from my neighborhood to an white school district, I know what it's like to be called the "n" word and the negative emotions that causes you to boil inwardly and oftentimes cause you to hold your head down in shame. I know what it's like to go into a store and because of the color of your skin you emit distrust to the the point that you are either followed around the store or never acknowledged when you enter. I've expereinced prejuidice in the workplace and as recently as three years ago at a friend's wedding reception in North Carolina the fuel for my prejuidice began boiling again as we watched in horror the blatant disrespect given by the banquet hall owner to the newly weds.
Now please don't get me wrong I don't dislike all white people. One of my closest and dearest friends named Martha is white, and then there is Liz whom I love whith my whole heart and there has been white people in my family and there are those that I do associate with that I truly love and when I'm with them there are no color barriers. It's just the rest of white America (ok not all just the ones I've encountered during my life's journey) that I have a problem with and this morning as the Holy Spirit pricked my heart I repented.
Mark 4:25-26- And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But, if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses. (NKJV)
Today was the beginning transformation for me.
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